Skip to main content

A Verizon Affair To Remember

After school I convinced myself to go to the gym.  So, naturally, I found myself getting a pedicure instead.  I was relaxing with my tootsies in the warm bubbly water when the woman across from me got a phone call.  She was clearly a model of etiquette because she took the call without hesitation or concern for the rest of us.  You could tell by the loud tone of her voice that she was initially confused; the caller was apparently a Verizon representative and had asked for her husband.  After a few moments she responded that she would stop by Verizon as soon as possible to discuss the matter because she, frankly, had no idea what the caller was talking about.  Hmmmm, a secret phone?  A number she didn't recognize?  Inconsistencies in the bill?  Maybe this guy is having a mid-life crisis.  Considering how much this lady talked (even when she wasn't on the phone) while I was trying to enjoy my foot massage maybe he's just fed up.  Maybe he's got a little somethin' somethin' going on and bought a phone for his chippy.  I think I may have witnessed a real-life version of every romantic comedy where the heroine has to get cheated on by the loser before she finds her true love.  A little tip -- if you're going to be a cheater, don't also be an idiot.  Don't buy your girlfriend a phone from the same place you bought your wife's phone!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Random Musings

1.  Last Friday night I was driving home from my parents' house when I saw two gentlemen on the corner.  One was wearing a jumpsuit and the other was dressed as (I swear) Captain Hook.  They appeared to be brushing up on their creeper skills.  Well played, boys.  Well played. 2.  I've been watching a lot of "Storage Wars" lately.  Who puts glass eyeballs in a storage locker?  Why are plastic chairs worthy of storage?  If someone can afford to purchase and store randomly valuable items, why can't they afford to pay the storage fees?  And why do so many people store money in storage lockers?  Haven't they ever heard of a bank? 3.  My father used the work "Grok" in Words with Friends.  He claims it means "to understand."  Later when I was telling him about my bad day he told me he totally grokked (groked?).  Thanks for the support, Dad. 4. - 6.  I'm sure I've mused about some more stuff here, I'm just to...
2 comments
Read more

Mallrats, 2.0

Now that the Halloween candy is on clearance, 'tis officially the season all up in this joint.  The stores are already in full Christmas swing.  I even heard "Winter Wonderland" playing, which was hard to take seriously when it was 75 degrees and sunny.  With Black Friday fast approaching, I've already seen some holiday hysteria: * I was in a store looking for lady stuff.  There were three nuns in the lady stuff department.  I was torn between wanting to stay as far from them as possible and wanting to sneak up behind them and see what they actually bought.  I know that they need unmentionables too, but I figured that was just standard issue with their habits, along with the sensible shoes and Clorox to keep their whites looking white.  Do they have to follow a dress code for their underpinnings, too? * A guy walking in front of me clearly had his shirt on inside out.  Was he a messy eater and figured, "hey, it works for the couch cushions..."?...
2 comments
Read more

The Power of Yet

Last week I attended a meeting where the presenter discussed the power of "yet"-- how someone can re-frame his/her thinking so as to have a growth mindset.  For instance, instead of saying "I can't run a marathon," I should tell myself, "I can't run a marathon...yet."  To be fair, I feel there's a fine line between self-confidence and false confidence; no matter how strongly I believe in myself, I'm not sure any amount of positive thinking will turn me into an Olympic gold medalist.  However, my thoughts on the theory were tested just a few short hours later... I discovered that someone was making disparaging jokes at my expense about my weight.  It's no secret that I have a love-hate relationship with my body; anyone who follows me on social media has seen my #runburstinrun journey. And it is indeed a journey -- I feel like I barely remember where I began, and there is no ending in sight.  The source of the jokes claimed no harm was ...
2 comments
Read more