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Lose Yourself in the Music, Find Yourself in the Hospital

Watching the Olympics inspires me to bone up on my sports and athletic info, and I came across this gem of an article:

Preventing Zumba Injuries

My favorite line from the article came from a neurologist -- and admitted Zumba fan -- who theorized that some injuries were caused by  "women (who) slip on any sneaker that they think will match their outfit" instead of wearing proper footwear.  That's harsh, yo.

The article also contained a link to a list of ways to avoid Zumba catastrophes.  The same neurologist, who clearly does not have stock in DSW or Nine West, made this intriguing argument:

"Consider my patient KM, 45, from Brewster, N.Y., who took a hard landing on the concrete poolside surface while teaching Aqua Zumba two years ago. She felt pain in the soles of her feet, and over time developed severe plantar fasciitis (an inflammation of the connective tissue in the feet). Her condition worsened because of the prolonged standing required by her day job as an operating-room nurse, and she came to see me. She decided to drop Aqua Zumba and stick with the regular version and continues to teach it four times a week."

I'm no neurologist, but it seems like Doc Orthopedic Shoe is missing the point.  Zumba didn't cause KM to fall, unless it was in cahoots with that darned wet concrete BY THE POOL.  And I have to wonder if a few Zumba classes a week are really as harmful as working as a nurse in an operating room.  Aren't surgeries, like, long and stuff?  Maybe longer than, oh I don't know, a Zumba class?

Look folks, Zumba ain't payin' me nothin' here.  I've never even tried Zumba, although I admit in moments of insomnia I've watched the informercials.  Given the number of commercials dedicated to medical lawsuits, all I'm sayin' is that a smart lawyer needs to get on this pronto -- this could be a real moneymaker.  Just imagine the testimonials -- "I used to love to salsa, but after that tragic day I couldn't even look at the letter "s" without crying.  I was in so much pain I had to leave my job at the telemarketing center, and the emotional distress kept me from my second job of selling Tupperware.  Thanks to (insert intrepid lawyer's name here) I got a monetary settlement that will pay my tuition for beauty school.  Thank you (lawyer)!"

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