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Adventures in TV Land

Thanks to my new digs, I am slowly but surely becoming part of the digital TV world.  Unfortunately, I'm running into some trouble in paradise.  I quickly resigned myself to the fact that I did not receive Bravo or MSNBC -- I can use the internet to stay in touch with Rachel Maddow and the Housewives.  I've even begrudgingly gotten used to losing WE and having my mom DVR "Bridezillas" for me.  However, I've now reached my limit upon discovering I have some rather -- shall we say, unique -- preview channels.
Last week I discovered I had something called the Barbie Channel.  Some clever philosophical metaphor?  An ironic observation on society's focus on materialism?  Uh, no.


It is actually the Barbie Channel.

Oh, wait, it gets better.  I also had something called the Axe Channel, which seemed to be nothing more than an endless loop of commercials for all Axe products.
Apparently there weren't a lot of Axe users out there, because today I saw that I had something called the Soup Channel.  Tonight's feature presentation was called -- wait for it -- a Soup Opera.  Seriously. It looked like someone living in the middle of a stereotypical pasta commercial.  Vegetables chopping, water boiling, drama stirring.


Oooh, contest idea -- who can predict what channel I will receive next?


***UPDATE*** Turns out there's an upside to all of this.  I had to call the digital TV people about another issue, and happened to mention the parade of madness scrolling through my TV program guide.  It was totally worth everything to hear the young customer service dude pause and say, "The Barbie Channel?  As in, like, the doll?"  That one goes in the win column.

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