Mayhem at McDonalds

Happy New Year to all of my Jewish peeps. I hope you enjoyed break the fast as much as I did! I enjoyed it so much that I decided to stop for a sweet tea on the way home to enhance my blintz- and bagel-induced buzz. There were two cars in front of me. The first car was full of giggly high school girls who couldn't decide what to order. "Oh, I want a Happy Meal! Can I get that with a shake? Do you sell tacos?" (Okay, I made that last one up, but it wouldn't have been that surprising.)
Finally car #2 pulled up. This chick had an even harder time ordering, because she refused to order anything that didn't have a Monopoly sticker on it. And she ordered a lot, so you can imagine how hard it must have been for her to construct a Monopoly-friendly menu. While I realize that 1 in 4 supposedly win, I'm not sure the victory was worth the battle.

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Redman Race Report

This is it -- the official rundown of my triathlon experience! I know many of you (well, at least my parents) have been anxiously awaiting this post, so here it goes. My Nationals experience actually started a day before I left for OKC when I arrived home to discover my beloved bike had been stolen (chain and all). This was probably one of the least articulate moments of my life; most of the phone call to my father consisted of four-letter words. My next flurry of phone calls went out to my lovely friends and coworkers, who made sure that I would have a bike to take to OKC. I also put out the SOS to the rest of the racers in Oklahoma and was assured that a bike would be waiting for me there. Saturday was a really inspiring day. I got to watch several races, including an Ironman distance race. I saw people overcome pain and fatigue to accomplish something truly amazing. As the sun set over Lake Hefner I had a moment of fear and panic and exci...

Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch...

Yes, I know it's been a really really long time since my last post. Life has been really busy. But fear not friends -- the random craziness has still been happening around here. Exhibit A: I am zoned out on the couch one night when I hear a knock on the door. I open it to find a blond 18-year-old with a strange look on her face. I realize some guys have pictured this exact same scenario, but I have not. Anyway, this young lady says she was in her apartment and heard a strange noise and was scared to go inside and would I go in with her? I must have paused for a moment too long, because she began doing this nervous giggle-like thing and insisted she was serious. I ended up going into her apartment and quickly determined that her fan was knocking her blinds around. Despite my genius observation, she insisted I stay until she checked every. Single. Room. And closet. Exhibit B: I had to go for a health assessment at work so I c...

Random Musings

1. Last Friday night I was driving home from my parents' house when I saw two gentlemen on the corner. One was wearing a jumpsuit and the other was dressed as (I swear) Captain Hook. They appeared to be brushing up on their creeper skills. Well played, boys. Well played. 2. I've been watching a lot of "Storage Wars" lately. Who puts glass eyeballs in a storage locker? Why are plastic chairs worthy of storage? If someone can afford to purchase and store randomly valuable items, why can't they afford to pay the storage fees? And why do so many people store money in storage lockers? Haven't they ever heard of a bank? 3. My father used the work "Grok" in Words with Friends. He claims it means "to understand." Later when I was telling him about my bad day he told me he totally grokked (groked?). Thanks for the support, Dad. 4. - 6. I'm sure I've mused about some more stuff here, I'm just to...

My Dogs are Mooing

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