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Showing posts from November, 2011

Locked Up Like A Litigious Celebrity Trainwreck

My dad and I just returned from a kickin' road trip to CoMo to see The Jayhawks play.  It was lovely Daddy and me time, and we had a blast.  On the way home I stopped to fill up my car and decided to run to the restroom.  I was gone for an unusually long time, but trust me -- it was worth it. What, you thought I was going to show some gross personal business pic?  You people are sick.  No, I found this gem in the gas station bathroom and couldn't resist.  It begs a variety of questions: 1.  So does the door open when it's locked AND when it's unlocked? 2.  How do I unlock the door AFTER leaving the bathroom? 3.  How many people asked for this little tutorial on locking the door before management said, "perhaps a sign would help"? 4.  Why am I so lucky? ****NOTE: This was not my original post title.  However, I can't afford the probable lawsuit brought on by a certain Hollywood former child star who spends minutes and minutes in jail and whose only

On Like Donkey Kong

Yes, folks, it's a twofer!  Two posts for the price of one in honor of the extra hour of sleep I got last night.  As has become tradition here at the Dogs, it's neighbor complainin' time.  This week's gripe comes from the trash found in the rocks outside of my porch door.  Apparently someone in the complex has a foot odor problem (big surprise), and he/she also has a vision problem and mistook a big pile of rocks for a dumpster.  I found a bottle of Fresh Fogger and immediately reached the following conclusions: 1.  Based on what I've learned from Law and Order, the bottle landed in my rocks based on a trajectory that started at an angle that objected in the courtroom based on the Miranda Rights. In other words, I'm pretty sure the bottle came from the apartment two floors above me. 2.  The smell of stinky feet that has permeated the breezeway was in fact caused by stinky feet. 3. The perp's hygiene problems extend far beyond feet and must be a cause of

Even More Adventures in TV Land

The TV saga continues!  It's been a few weeks since I was lucky enough to have the Barbie Channel, but alas -- just like Ken and Barbie, we've been forced to part ways.  Unlike Barbie and Ken (and maybe even Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries -- bets are still out on this one) there is no chance for reconciliation.  I've had to console myself with the latest previews offered on good ol' channel 99.  Right now I'm getting to enjoy the Extreme Channel, although the only thing extreme about it appears to be that it features Bear Grylls.  However, last week's preview was the best (click on the link below): Dish TV's Idea of a Joke? Or Serious Programming? Oh, no -- I didn't make a mistake.  This was the actual sponsor of the station, and all they showed were informercials.  For reals.