Skip to main content

Sugar Mama

Hey all!  I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but it's been a busy summer.  Not to worry, though; in the midst of the chaos there have been some Dog-worthy moments.  One happened today at Target (which is what I get for going to Target during the back-to-school bonanza).  I'm preparing for my final adventure before heading back to school -- a trip to Colorado to see my friends and their new adorable little guy.  So like any doting friend, I stopped by the store to get some presents.  After taking the childless walk of shame through the strange and mysterious baby aisle (why is it that babies need more stuff than I did in my first three apartments combined?) I made my way to the cashier.  I ended up in line behind a mother and a daughter who insisted on ringing up their identical items separately (seriously, they bought the same shirts and unmentionables and everything).  Finally, it was my turn.  I laid down my items and politely greeted the cashier.  The following conversation ensued:
Cashier:  So, where's your little guy?
Me:  Denver.
Cashier:  (crickets chirping)
Me:  It's not my kid.
Cashier:  (look of understanding dawns on his face, proceeds to ring up my items during the awkward silence)
It was worth it, though -- I'm off to the mountains!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mallrats, 2.0

Now that the Halloween candy is on clearance, 'tis officially the season all up in this joint.  The stores are already in full Christmas swing.  I even heard "Winter Wonderland" playing, which was hard to take seriously when it was 75 degrees and sunny.  With Black Friday fast approaching, I've already seen some holiday hysteria: * I was in a store looking for lady stuff.  There were three nuns in the lady stuff department.  I was torn between wanting to stay as far from them as possible and wanting to sneak up behind them and see what they actually bought.  I know that they need unmentionables too, but I figured that was just standard issue with their habits, along with the sensible shoes and Clorox to keep their whites looking white.  Do they have to follow a dress code for their underpinnings, too? * A guy walking in front of me clearly had his shirt on inside out.  Was he a messy eater and figured, "hey, it works for the couch cushions..."?  Is that a
2 comments
Read more

The Power of Yet

Last week I attended a meeting where the presenter discussed the power of "yet"-- how someone can re-frame his/her thinking so as to have a growth mindset.  For instance, instead of saying "I can't run a marathon," I should tell myself, "I can't run a marathon...yet."  To be fair, I feel there's a fine line between self-confidence and false confidence; no matter how strongly I believe in myself, I'm not sure any amount of positive thinking will turn me into an Olympic gold medalist.  However, my thoughts on the theory were tested just a few short hours later... I discovered that someone was making disparaging jokes at my expense about my weight.  It's no secret that I have a love-hate relationship with my body; anyone who follows me on social media has seen my #runburstinrun journey. And it is indeed a journey -- I feel like I barely remember where I began, and there is no ending in sight.  The source of the jokes claimed no harm was
2 comments
Read more

"The Golden Years"

This past week I've been working with my students on writing revisions using the genre of flash fiction. Typically flash fiction is 1,000 words or less; for our purposes, we are sticking between 500 and 750. In order to model for my students I created a piece of my own, and I enjoyed reconnecting with my inner writer.  One of my students, after hearing me read my first draft, asked me why I was a teacher instead of a writer #notsohumblebrag.  Now that I've polished my story, I thought I'd share.  It may still need a little work (I'm still not sure I'm happy with how I wrote the ending), but it sure was fun to create. Enjoy! The Golden Years “Mistakes are ok...but not here.  You’re fired!” Fred started filling a cardboard box with his personal belongings from his locker.  He wondered if they had a room of boxes somewhere, ready to hand out whenever someone was let go -- something that happened a lot.  In his time at the company Fred only bothered t
1 comment
Read more