After school I convinced myself to go to the gym. So, naturally, I found myself getting a pedicure instead. I was relaxing with my tootsies in the warm bubbly water when the woman across from me got a phone call. She was clearly a model of etiquette because she took the call without hesitation or concern for the rest of us. You could tell by the loud tone of her voice that she was initially confused; the caller was apparently a Verizon representative and had asked for her husband. After a few moments she responded that she would stop by Verizon as soon as possible to discuss the matter because she, frankly, had no idea what the caller was talking about. Hmmmm, a secret phone? A number she didn't recognize? Inconsistencies in the bill? Maybe this guy is having a mid-life crisis. Considering how much this lady talked (even when she wasn't on the phone) while I was trying to enjoy my foot massage maybe he's just fed up. Maybe he's got a little somethin' somethin' going on and bought a phone for his chippy. I think I may have witnessed a real-life version of every romantic comedy where the heroine has to get cheated on by the loser before she finds her true love. A little tip -- if you're going to be a cheater, don't also be an idiot. Don't buy your girlfriend a phone from the same place you bought your wife's phone!
Now that the Halloween candy is on clearance, 'tis officially the season all up in this joint. The stores are already in full Christmas swing. I even heard "Winter Wonderland" playing, which was hard to take seriously when it was 75 degrees and sunny. With Black Friday fast approaching, I've already seen some holiday hysteria: * I was in a store looking for lady stuff. There were three nuns in the lady stuff department. I was torn between wanting to stay as far from them as possible and wanting to sneak up behind them and see what they actually bought. I know that they need unmentionables too, but I figured that was just standard issue with their habits, along with the sensible shoes and Clorox to keep their whites looking white. Do they have to follow a dress code for their underpinnings, too? * A guy walking in front of me clearly had his shirt on inside out. Was he a messy eater and figured, "hey, it works for the couch cushions..."? Is that a
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